A Horrible No Good Very Bad Day!

First I want to correct my weight loss. I thought that I heard 15 pounds, but I guess the excitement was too much and I of course made a mistake. It was actually 13.6 pounds. Well that just stinks. I was upset when I thought it was 15 and so now I am pouring over my food journal and looking at the exercise I did on Saturday trying to figure out where I went wrong. I weighed on Thursday (which I will not be doing anymore) and it was 17 pounds down. So I really messed up somewhere because that means I gained 3.4 of the 17 back. I hope that makes sense. Well today was a horrible no good very bad day for me. It turns out that one member of my family does not seem to want to be a team player even for the 12 weeks. I am not sure why, but I do know that it is starting to really upset me. I spent most of the day in tears, and it felt really great to take out all that stress at the gym. I did leave most of it there, but not all of it. I fear the next 11 weeks are going to be a bumpy ride. I am just hoping that it does not affect my weight loss. I know stress is no good. It seems that now that I can not go out to eat and stay out all day shopping and playing and then going out to eat, that I am just not worthy to be around. I hate to tell this person, but this is a lifestyle change for me, and I will not be turning back. They seem to think that when the contest is over everything will go back to the way it was. I guess when you talk about something for years and that is all it is, talk; but when you decide to act on the talk, things are not the same. When you live what you talk things are not so cut and dry. It is a give and take relationship. Sometimes you have to give something up to get something much better in return. I guess it can be hard to do for someone who has never been in my shoes. I would give up just about anything to be healthy and finally be and feel normal. That is all I want to say about this issue at the moment, but please pray that things get better and work out ok. I have also figured out that a lot of losing weight is a mental process. I believe that I can actually say that at least for me, the weight was not about the food. There is something deeper and I plan on exploring that and fixing it so that I can move on. Maybe some of that can be found in the fact that I am a little hard on myself. I try not to be, but when I know I can do better, it just tears me up. I know that this is a long journey that is just beginning for me and will take some time to come to an end, it is one that I am so thankful to sharing with 11 other wonderful people. You guys really rock!

Carrie